One day this question popped in my head when Justin and I were running. WHO do I choose to love? I celebrated my 32nd birthday last week and it seems to be a natural time to reflect on your life and where you are in life. I couldn’t quit thinking about this question. WHO am I choosing to love? As I reflect on my life it seems that for the past 31 years of my life I have chosen to love ME over loving my Creator…my GOD! I see this choice in the way I spend my thoughts, my emotions, my time, my money…most everything points to the fact that I have not chosen to lose myself and LOVE GOD! So, as I talk to God about this, He keeps kindly & gently showing me things in my life that I must lay down in order to genuinely LOVE HIM alone. No claims on my life, my comfort, my dreams, my expectations…laying it all down in order to CHOOSE to love HIM. He has also shown me some things that are on His heart that He desires for me to pick up and carry with Him. I have realized that I have spent so much time loving myself that I have been desensitized to the things that break God’s heart! People ALL around me that desperately NEED Him! I can see so clearly these days how satan steals and destroys so much in our lives by tempting us to love ourselves and hold on to things that are not ours to begin with. I have felt SO MUCH freedom and abundance in my heart the past week or so as I am walking with the Lord in learning how to lose myself and LOVE HIM! It is hard and it hurts, but God brings so much ABUNDANCE in our hearts when we finally surrender…daily…minute by minute! I know one day I am going to get to see my Jesus face-to-face…all of the things that seem to fill up my heart and mind will seem so meaningless in His presence. I am trusting Him to walk with me and teach me how to CHOOSE to love Him…not myself. So, when I stand before Him I can honestly say that I spent my life loving Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength…and as an overflow of that love, I loved my neighbor as myself! Whew! What FREEDOM!
Jaxon started school a few weeks ago…Here are a few pics of this big milestone!
Jaxon with his teacher Ms. Amy
First day of school!
good, good stuff! thanks for the gentle reminder. i need to read this everday when i wake up.
Look at that handsome kid! Baylor said a few weeks ago that she misses playing with Jaxon!
Beautiful words, Jana!